I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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