He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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