People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
