just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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