you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
