so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I have post one night stand depression
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
