I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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