This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
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I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
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Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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