When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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