Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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