i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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