when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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