I must be too annoying 4 u.
I faked an abortion last night.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
How external is "for external use only"?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
