all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
