I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
