No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
