In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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