just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
