i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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