so explain again why im purple
no
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
