Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
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We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
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I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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