I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize