you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
