He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize