I hate your face
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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