I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
