she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I have post one night stand depression
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
