Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
