Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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