I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize