I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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