ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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