Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize