Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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