OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
