marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
