some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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