Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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