do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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