no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize