everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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