just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
