So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
