He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize