Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
