i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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