Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize