just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
