I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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