$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
