My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
