I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
