ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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