Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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