did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Your cock deserves a montage
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
