i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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