I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You need a sexual gate keeper
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
