youre lurking in front of me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Someone signed my nipple.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
