We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
nutella sex= disaster
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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