I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
