Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
