I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
